w43 sunday review

In case you were in suspense, the vet checkup on Monday confirmed that the girls are in perfect health & also generally perfect. I had no reason to be tense & having nightmares about it. It's clarified some stuff, though. There will be a day when I'll curse every moment I spent apart from them. I can practice non-attachment about any other thing, but not this. You understand.

Bringing that into the physical realm, I note that we don't all fit in my current bedroom chair at the same time. I'm going to save up £265 for this particularly large chair:

'Saving up for' means:

• put £10 into the chair fund for each completed story I upload;
• any subscriber/supporter £5s go to the chair fund;
• if any month's spending was under £400, the difference goes to the chair fund.

I wonder if this will work. If having a material goal of 'I'll be typing from an armchair under two happy dogs' means more to my brain than the abstract concept of 'it will be nice to have typed'. Won't that be interesting! & then I'll have a big chair to ponder it in.

assessing the week from my habit tracker:

out of ten daily habits, my scores were 4, 4, 2, 6, 5, 7

that's a week score of 47%. but you have no idea how unlike me it is to be still tracking the same things 8 weeks after starting. I traditionally wander off in week 3. the fact that I am quantifying how well I'm not doing is completely new, there's always been a vague feeling of unknowable inadequacy before. this 12-week year structure is working and useful.

& again, wednesday was the least useful day. there's definitely something wrong with my tuesday nights. get to bed ridiculously early this tuesday, see if that helps.

intents reviewed:

• 100 words a day: no yes yes yes no yes (䷱)
• vet check: was fine, as discussed above
• bed before eleven without phone: yes no no yes yes yes (䷘)

matters of note:

• the forester story is making itself longer than I wanted. I was hoping for a brisk folktale, but they just started talking. if I knew how to edit I could fix that.
• it's getting really cold in the evenings. 6 or 7 C. I have my shawls, the girls have their blankets, and I have sewn new fleece sleeves on the hacked-up jumper I was wearing over spring. But I think the space heaters will need to come out of the cupboard next week.
• epiphany while weeding: I've been put off garden tasks by looking out at it from indoors and seeing the whole thing, as though I am failing at doing It All. nobody ever does It All of a garden. you just go out there and you do the square metre in front of you. it's never Done. something that's Done isn't a garden, it's an exhibit. so I have written that on a little card over my desk, & I might write it on a little card next to the back door.

intents for w44:

• with my new perspective, some progress on the hedge
• bend the forester story to my will and bring it in under 10k words
• start writing the November 50k. it's currently named 'there's a dragon'. because there's a dragon.