2025 w46 sunday review
I ain't scared of no propylene glycol.
what were my intents? take no damage, return library books, pick up dog tablets, prototype christmas cards, touch grass. well, damn, that's a 100%.
it did not, gentle reader, feel like 100%.
I have tapered from 3mg/ml nicotine to 1mg/ml and for the last few calendar days I haven't perceived time nor any time derivatives of motion. There is no, like, subjective experience of last or next, no now, no faster or slower than usual.
I have been at 3mg/ml for about six months I think? this weirdness happened at the other tapers too. I think it was worse at the other tapers. I think I felt fear & resentment at the other tapers, & I don't feel that this time. This is the penultimate step down; I can't reliably make less than 1mg/ml with the tools I have in the house. The next step down will be to zero. It doesn't matter when that is - not just because it doesn't matter when anything is, because I am disconnected - it doesn't matter if I'm at 1mg/ml for another six months or six weeks or six years. I smoked actual burning tobacco for twenty years. I ain't scared of no propylene glycol.
This disconnection from time is doing amazing things to my sleep pattern, which is definitely feedback looping.
Couple of household maintenance things are getting migrated into next week because I am too floaty to trust myself to operate a flat-head screwdriver or a measuring tape. It's fine. It'll pass.
It has stayed over 10 C, but it's very dim & the air is damp & I've stopped snacking on fruit. Multivitamin tablets showing up. Been adding paprika & cinnamon to foods, planning to order proper mustard & a section of ginger, I think some of my 'I should drink tea!' tea bags in the pantry have ginger in - if I finish those I can order a box of masala chai.
I have some echinacea tablets from a previous winter - does placebo have a shelf life? Presumably you have to believe that it does? Also, don't you absolutely love it when you look up a herbal remedy that you vaguely heard was good for soothing mild upper respiratory symptoms & you find that people are out there taking it for cancer. Good grief, people, I am tinfoil-hat-adjacent but c'mon. We would know by now; cancer gets rich people.
The air doesn't get dry enough between rain showers for the grass to dry into it, so I haven't strimmed or raked, which I meant to. Perhaps my training is out of date & you're allowed to use motors in water these days but I don't know where I'd look that up for a safe true answer.
I have sieved off and repotted the conservatory plants with a bit more drainage medium - it's not going to be quite dry out there until April.
Oh, we found out that the insulating wallpaper we've been putting up in the little room shrinks in place. He thought he was going mad - genuinely, he came down all starey-eyed like 'I know I lined it up properly yesterday, I used the spirit level all the way down, I feel like I'm going crazy' - but no, that room gets a ten degree temperature change from day to night that's why we're adding insulating wallpaper & the foam sheet shrinks after you've applied it to the wall.
So we unwrapped the remaining rolls of foam wallpaper & draped them over some chairs overnight so they could experience the temperature changes & maybe do all the shrinking they're going to do? before we put them on the walls? I figured it was worth a try.
I'm only making seven Christmas cards this year. It is horribly enjoyable to look at the sticky note list and wonder which of those seven will drift themselves out of my life next year.
intents for w47:
- take no damage
- i have one errand to do outside the village
- i have one governmental form to complete
- open and stare at the document for assignment 2 of the cursed course